The countdown continues and we are finding every moment to celebrate. With the recent Covid scare and my stress levels at an all time high - its just exhausting and celebrating good things happening really fill my heart.
There is so much love for this boy and I can truly say with this pandemic I can see who are the people I can truly rely on. I'm just filled with gratitude for my family and baby support team.
These days though are pretty much the quiet before the storm. Yes of course we want a safe delivery and healthy baby - but we also know that's when the hard work begins. It's definitely different the second time around. Not as scared but still just ever so slightly anxious.
These are the things no one talks about at a baby shower though. these are the things I think maybe every mother feels as the people around her are playing baby games and eating cake. Yes - we are celebrating new life, but (it may be my anxiety talking) when dealing with things regarding life there's also life at risk.
Of course these thoughts in my head are simply a figment of my imagination. I just think its interesting to be in this position. When inside there are all these doubts and fears and outside all they can see is happy and celebration. Yes, my mental health has probably taken a toll this year. I think the biggest thing for me though is that I'm actually identifying it, understanding it, and figuring it all out.
I know that in spite of all these feelings and thoughts that my story is already written. the enemy can't and won't get into my head. I know my truth and I speak my truth. And the truth in my life is we are having another beautiful baby and we will be blessed to steward this child throughout his and our lives.